How I met your mother ? - Part 1

The idea of this blog came from an American TV serial with the same name which is a popular if not a superhit sitcom from their regular lot and is aired on CBS if I can recall correctly (and on Star World in India). In fact I am a big fan of the female protagonist in the serial played out by a hot Canadian actress named Coby Smulders. I guess she has even starred in some Hollywood movies. Anyways, so back to my story – ‘How I met your mother’ is a simple but sweet story I would like to pass on to my progeny (2+ years old now) which would serve him as a proof that his dad wasn’t as boring and unromantic as he would like to believe when he grows up !! So here goes my son - your dad’s ONLY romantic venture which met with 100% success (needless to say the previous attempts were all big time flops and may not even qualify to be called ‘attempts’ at winning over fairer sex during his pre marital struggling days!)

Cut to December 2002. It all started with the news that one of my cousins Yogesh is all set to get married in a remote place called ‘Aamgaon’, a small hamlet near Gondia which is a town near Nagpur which is a city in the geographical center of India, a country in the....(talk about my geographical senses or lack of it!). Initially I had no plans to witness the marriage in person as I am really averse to attending family functions (I hate relatives!) and that too in a hamlet with no probability of even getting a mineral water bottle made me think twice. But a phone call from my parents did the trick – they informed me that they have received a prospective ‘Rishta’ which has come for me from a respectable family settled in Bhilai (a town near the same hamlet which is near ...well you got the idea!!) . My plans to visit the hamlet to attend cousin’s marriage got sealed with my sis sharing the insider info that the girl’s pic (which had landed in her hand as part of initial exchange of ladka/ladki’s biodata/horoscope between the 2 families) was simply ‘outstanding’ and that I should not miss the trip at any cost. So what was the common thread between the hamlet story and the prospective ‘rishta’ stuff – the Bhilai family was a close relatives of the Aamgaon’s bride family and would be present in full attendance in the December marriage in the hamlet and that I would have a chance to meet up with the ‘girl’. Considering my state of mind during that time, it was nothing short of a visit to ‘Mecca Medina’. Meanwhile my sis sent me the soft copy of girl’s pic which made my resolve to visit the hamlet stronger even if it meant risking my precious life due to the absence of potable water (well mineral water I mean!). So my son – your dad went all the way to a remote hamlet to meet your mother inspite of huge perceived threat to his life!! Please be always proud of this fact about your dad and yes, the first moral of the story for you is – a hamlet without the availability of mineral water is the best place to find your girl..!!

December 6th 2002 – I set off for the hamlet from Nagpur in a privately rented bus along with all the Baraatis for my cousin’s marriage. I had mixed thoughts with a good possibility that the whole boy/girl meet affair might just not even happen (too many factors play a role here if you follow the arranged marriage process closely). The Baraat reached the hamlet after an arduous 5 hours bus journey with most of the road being dusty and broken. My first impression about the hamlet was not that bad though – it was a kind of beautiful countryside dotted with a horizon line made up by steep rock hills all around. The flip side was - the roads were ‘pugdandis’ (can’t define this word, you ought to see it yourself to get the right definition) with most of the houses made out of red bricks (‘Kavelus’ in Hindi) and cows/cattle grazing at regular distances but since I was on a mission here, I braved all the odds without uttering a word. The Baraatis got busy in settling down in the ‘Janwasa’ which is a designated high area given out to them for getting ready for the evening marriage ritual. I, along with my father had already got to meet my prospective father in law which at least confirmed the ‘meet’ in the evening function. While the Baraat was getting ready for the marriage, I took out some time and went to a nearby hill rock with a few of my baraati gang members and really enjoyed the fresh breeze of air which is so rare in a cosmopolitan surrounding.

How I met your mother ? - Part 2

The Baraat started heading for the marriage venue by around 7 PM. I was wearing a fusion dress code for the event – a black jeans and a black blazer over a yellow colored full neck t-shirt. Surprisingly, I was looking less worse that day as per my own standards. I shook my legs and danced a bit along with other Baraatis and infact enjoyed it too even though I am not so much a ‘dance’ person. The long drawn marriage process started with Baraatis eventually reaching the venue, the first event being the ‘Varmala’ event wherein bride and groom put a big size ‘garland’ around either’s neck. Till this point in time, I had no inkling or clue about the ‘girl’ I was told about. Then suddenly from nowhere, my prospective father in law appeared and took my dad aside and whispered a few words which were inaudible to me. I could see my dad leaning sideward and then exchanging a few words with him before heading back towards me. Watching dad coming towards me, I pretended I had not seen/heard anything (as a son, I was taught not to be enthusiastic about girls in presence of elders). He pointed me towards the crowd at the other end of the marriage lawn and said ‘she is Sonu’ directing his fingers towards a group of girls with one of them wearing pink saree. I said ‘Sonu who?’ He looked at me and smiled and I got the message. As I was trying to have a good second glance at the pink saree clad girl, my dad had already disappeared as I saw him being led away by my father in law. As my eyes started tracing the ‘pink girl’ further, I saw her being introduced to my dad at the other end of the lawn. From this point onwards, it was a cat and mouse game with both of us being aware about what’s happening around. At times, I was following her in the grass lawn with couple of my Baarati gang members and at other times, she was following me and my gang along with her gang. Our eyes met a couple of times and she, contrary to the image of a typical Indian girl in such scenarios, didn’t have any expressions of ‘shyness’ or ‘coyness’ and that to me was unexpected from a town girl though in a way it made me more curious about her. In this cat and mouse game, I had absolutely no inkling about my cousin’s marriage for which I had come here officially. Neither was I getting any urge to drink mineral water in this whole game. So my son, the 2nd morale of the story is – venture in an inhabitable terrain (where there is no mineral water) ONLY and ONLY if there is a beautiful girl around!!

By midnight, all Baraatis had left the marriage venue and were back to Janwasa for the second phase of marriage ritual called ‘saat pheras’ which continues all through the night. Somehow I was feeling physically exhausted and tired as I didn’t have proper dinner/ food (don’t feel like eating in such a mass event) and I actually didn’t have any water as I just couldn’t bring up myself to swallow regular water served there. Though physically exhausted, my mind was racing with what I had seen/gone through and wanted to be back in the ‘mandap’ asap. But being an unathletic person that I am, I crashed in a makeshift bed in the Janwasa and was dreaming big time in my deep sleep. Somewhere around 2AM, one of my cousins came and started waking me up mentioning that my presence was required in the ‘mandap’ for some marriage ritual. I was still in a somnambulant stage to analyze what was happening, I just put my blazer on and went to the nearby ‘mandap’. And behold – I saw Sonu with the entire gang of hers already present in the mandap with the entire mandap brightly lit up and the saat pheras ritual in full swing. It turned out that I was called there to help out the groom save his shoes which were being targeted by Sonu’s gang as part of ‘Juta chori’ ritual which is a lighter side of an otherwise boring marriage rituals. The scene was straight out of ‘Hum Aapke hai Kaun’ movie with Salman/Madhuri having a similar ‘juta chori’ sequence in the movie. In this whole milieu as I was busy protecting the shoes from the evil eyes of the opposite gang, I was called by a couple of elderly people in the distant corner of the mandap. I thought I may just have to go and touch feet of a few elderly people (a typical routine in such functions and be back asap) but it turned out to be something different – before I could realize what’s happening around, I was being introduced to my prospective mother in law. She said a few nice things which I don’t recall now exactly and waived towards Sonu who was still engrossed in drawing up ‘Shoe’ plans with her gang. Mom in law gestured her to come towards where we were standing. My heart was racing at its pulsating high when all these drama was being enacted out. Both of us just said ‘hi’ to each other when introduced formally for the first time. I could not muster enough courage to keep looking/ staring at her as I was surrounded by at least 4 elderly people from all 4 directions. I just said Namaste to all and came back to my seat. The ‘Juta Chori’ episode was back on track and was played out to the climax where the opposite gang had to concede defeat as they could not lay their hands on the groom’s shoes (though my wife till date disputes this version saying her gang just did a favor by not pursuing the ‘juta’ any further). Whatever it might be, I did steal a few moments in that whole ‘juta episode’ with Sonu and tried to strike a conversation or two with her.

I left for Nagpur in the wee hours of morning after the last ritual of marriage called ‘Bidaai’ (bride’s journey to her new home) and upon reaching there, it was almost official that both of us were engaged. The marriage took place around 3 months later in March 2003 and both of us would always treasure and cherish our first meeting forever in our life. So my son, this is how I happened to meet your mother. And finally, the 3rd and the last morale of the story – chase a girl only if you are good at the ‘Juta chori’ business!!