Memoirs of a Lost World

The advent of Television era (the idiot box!) was a significant development during the initial years of my life. It all started with the priced Black and White television sets occupying the most sacred place in one’s house (the most common brands were Dynora, Wilson, Videocon, and some Japanese companies), color TV sets were still a distant dream then. The eon started with the ubiquitous Doordarshan channel (for the nescient younger generation – this is a government owned channel and is still available as part of standard cable package) being aired for limited hours during evening time. The telecast timings were expanded subsequently to include morning and afternoon hours which was an achievement in itself for the government at that time (I mean c’mon they were inching closer to serving non stop infotainment which was a kind of huge favor for the dumb Indian audience). Speaking about the quality of programs DD served during those days – I would say it was a mix bag. Here is a complete low down on the history of Indian television(read Doordarshan) as viewed by a youngster.

The culture of never ending soaps started way back then(1980s) with serials like ‘Buinyaad’(Lajoji, Haveli Ram) and ‘Humlog’(Basesar Ram, Nanhe). I am sure E(K)ta Kapoor had started taking lessons in soap since then itself. Indian sitcoms made an extremely successful beginning with serials like ‘Ye Jo Hai Jindagi’ (Rakesh Bedi was absolutely hilarious), ‘Wagle Ki Duniya’(the Indian bourgeois population would still identify itself with the protagonist Wagle played by Anjan Srivastava) and Rajni(not sure if you remember the intimidating Priya Tendulkar). Then there were serials meant for children like ‘Dada Dadi ki Kahaniyaan’, Vikram Vetaal(I still can visualize Vetaal with long white curly hairs being carried over by Vikram on his back with Vetaal saying wickedly ‘Vikram, Tu Bola To Mai Chala…HAHAHA…’), ‘Malgudi Days’(the character of Swami and the title tune would stay in my heart forever), ‘Nukkad’ (the camaraderie depicted and portrayed in the serial has no parallels till date) and the first Sci-Fi serial ‘Sigma’(Jakakhu, Tara) which I guess was responsible for building up my interest in science stuff. ‘Katha Sagar’, ‘Neem Ka Ped’, ‘Tamas’, ‘Circus’, ‘Fauzi’(FYI - SRK featured the in last 2), Udaan(Kavita Choudhry), Air Hostess(the beautiful Kittu Gidwani), Karamchand(the first ever detective serial played out by Pankaj Kapoor to the ‘T’), Vyomkesh Bakshi (another detective serial and was an instant hit), ‘Ek Do Teen Char’(saturday afternoon after the half day school), Siddhart Basu’s Quiz show(Derek O Brien came much later folks), ‘Turning point’(a science show anchored by Girish Karnad who was simply flawless and the IISc’s Prof. Yashpal who became a sort of celebrity), Prannoy Roy’s ‘The World this Week’(he coined the idea of starting a separate TV channel from there) are some of the other cherished serials which would remain etched out in my memory for eternity. Speaking of Doordarshan, how could I forget the daily news (Samachar that is) which used to be a mere 20 minute affair (8.40 PM till 9). Salma Sultan, Sarla Maheshwari, Ved Prakash were household names then (I wonder where have they disappeared today). And last but not least, there used to be just 2 film songs based programs – Chitrahaar every Wednesday and Chayageet every Thursday – those who are used to 24/7 music channels today would have no idea about the craze these two programs generated in those days. The era of mythological epics (Mahabharata, Ramayana) being aired on DD came in mid nineties which also set the stage for the invasion of cable TV. I personally liked Mahabharata more than Ramayana for its compelling depiction of all the mythological characters- Bhishma Pitamah was an instant hit and so was Arjuna and Krishna.

The programs I hated most were countless – the local program in Marathi ‘Aamchi Maati Aamchi Mansa’ – a horticulture based program topped the list. I mean who was watching such programs? The intended audience viz the poor farmers did not have access to television anyways, so effectively the urban populace was being trained and specialized in agriculture!! Then there was the most awaited Hindi movie slot - once every week on Sunday evening. The movies shown were either pre Alam-aara period or at best some flop movie featuring Rajendra Kumar!! And we were supposed to feel lucky for that. Then there was those government sponsored messages (Child dioherria, child marriage, family planning, anti smoking/anti drinking and so on). The intention was not wrong but the message ads were so tasteless and poorly shown that it left you with no option but to leave the room and go for a walk.

Moving on, the DD TV saga would not be complete without the mention of advertisements being aired during that time which had a class of its own. I would start the interesting journey with ‘Nirma’ ad. Yes, this ad should actually be given the longest running ad award for not changing its ad tune(though due credit should be given for at least changing the visuals!). When Pepsi was launched initially in India, it was called ‘Lehar Pepsi’ and the ad featured the pop singer ‘Remo Fernandis’ who made the punch lines extremely famous – ‘Are you Ready for the Maqgic?’ and ‘Yahi hai right choice baby, ahaa!!’. The Pepsi ad later featured Aamir Khan with Mahima Choudhary and the sensual Sanjana (yeah, you all guessed it right – she was the blue eyed Aishwarya Rai Bachchan – all of sweet 17 at that time!!!). Then there was another ad which featured a beautiful lass and I kept wondering for years about her identity. The ad was for Khatau sarees and the damsel who appeared in it was none other than Raveen Tandon who did it when she was in 12^th std! (as per one of her interviews). Then there was that Bajaj bulb ad which had the punch line ‘Jab mai bilkul chota tha, badi shararat karta tha…’. Bajaj scooter had the ad song as ‘Hamara Bajaj – Buland Bharat ki buland tasveer’. Bombay Dyeing ad had the hot Lisa Ray featuring in their promos (she could have become a better and bigger model I feel). I can also recall the Rasna ad which was made very endearing for their cute child models. The Jalebi ad(for one of the oil brands I guess) was one of the classic ones. One of the most innovative ads ever done is Amul. They kept changing the punch line almost every month mostly capturing the flavor of the month. Recently, I heard that the brain behind all those funny one liners has left the company for the good. Hats off to such a creative mind.

Other ads which come to my mind from that era are – Prestige(Jo biwi se kare pyaar, wo ..blah blah), Boroline, Iodex(ooh, aah, ouch), Surf, Lipton tea, Mysore Sandal soap, Bournvita, Cema bulbs, Parle G, Farex baby milk powder, Cibaca tooth paste, Hipolin washing powder, Rin(Bahenji ad done by Kavita Choudhary), Titan watches(the romantic ad wherein the fiancé gifts the watch to his beloved in a hotel backdrop and the violins being played out by the band), Dabur Lal dant manjan(‘Kyu na ho masterji, mai Dabur lal dant manjan jo istemaal karta hoon), ‘Ek chidiya Anek chidya’ depicting unity in diversity by Films division, Rexona and many many more.

I guess the Doordarshan era defined and shaped a generation, a generation unaware about the MTV culture and the 100 channel confusion. Good or bad, the DD legacy would be difficult to forget if not impossible.

PS - Special thanks to my better half as she was the one who helped me recall/recollect most of the above details with amazing clarity.

Creepy

It seems the Virginia Tech massacre took its own toll on me. I mean I agree I do come across such daily news involving heinous crimes almost regularly(bane of modern time I guess), but this one in particular had a little more than the deserved melancholic effect on me. It really made me wonder where we are heading after all. Agreed every society will have some psychopaths in its pack of cards but doesn't get to comprehend a crime of this nature and magnitude. I even thought of reading the banned book 'Rage' to understand the deranged mentality of a loner but then thought it wouldn't really serve the purpose.

What caught my attention was a poignant story of a Mumbai girl Minal who died in the shootout. It wasn't really the fact that she was killed cold-blooded, but more so to discover that she had an online Orkut profile and it was flooded with consoling messages from all across the world. I mean it was eerie, as strange as it can get to see the scrapbook of a dead person who was all alive just a few hours back and getting thousands of messages about her own death. Netizens who were leaving the bereaved messages knew that there is no one at the other end to read those messages and the fact that the owner of that profile is never going to return back ! Later I discovered that the profile was deleted by Orkut but it left me with a bizarre feeling in my mind and a bigger question to ponder over – what happens to the online identity of a person(including email, blogs etc) when he/she is no more and are there any international rules/regulations governing the issue.

My heartfelt condolences to the Panchal family and also to the family of the Indian professor who was a victim in the shootout.

Peace.

I came, I saw, I failed

It took me a lot of courage to actually pen down what I term as 'the biggest setback/failure of my life'. I mean c'mon how many of us can actually document and share one's own failures, leave aside even to mention about it to others. I bet many of us dont even share our own failures with ourselves (for fear of being sounding demeaning/embarrassing to oneself). You dont agree? Consider this - you commit a faux pas in a social gathering (say you were using the damn fork in the right hand in an elite dinner party with some of the most sophisticated and hypocrite people around(yeah, the sophisticated are always hypocrites)). You really dont realize this until the next day when one of your close pals points it out to you (he was actually nudging you all along in the party and you thought he was trying to direct your attention, as if that is required, to the most gorgeous babe in the party wearing that red hot..okay okay I guess I should stop here as my blog might be read by some of the 'sophisticated' people too!!). So in short, it takes guts to write about your own failures on the world wide web which currently is being surfed by 3.142857 billion populace (even if a fraction of it hit my blog site, you can appreciate what I am getting into here!).If anyone of you wants to challenge that statistical figure of 3.14ish, the logic is simple -
the world's populace is spread around the circumference (C) of the planet and since world wide web is used by us homo sapiens across the diameter (D) of the globe, the ratio C/D is always constant and is given by the famous mathematical irrational constant pi which equals 3.142857 (see, we never understand mathematics, we just get used to it, so pls dont wreck your brain to understand the logic here. The WWW is indeed surfed by 3.14ish billion people, if its less, some of them might be offline now, and if its more, some of the new surfers might have joined in into the big bad world).

Alright, back to the topic - my biggest failure in my life is (pls dont throw the mouse or the keyboard) - not being able to fly a kite. Yes, that’s a fact and I confess to the entire world (not just to the 3.14ish people) that I HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO FLY A KITE. Right from my childhood days, I have been fascinated by how a kite flies and flies so high. When I reached a boy's age (as defined scientifically), I attempted many a times to fly the damn thing but all in vain. My object of envy was my big bro who seemed to be a born kite flier. He would merrily ask everyone to come to the terrace to watch the show as he would fly the kite (I was always the one who used to hold the kite for making it take off in the sky with the other end of the string, the real control panel of the kite, in my bro's hand). In my desperation, a couple of times I sneaked out and tried to fly the UFO (well, for me it was a UFO as it was mysterious, unconquerable and no one ever spotted it flying ...with me on the other end that is!). All my juvenile attempts were met with unequivocal disaster with each time the flying thing heading down towards the ground (as if the gravity had suddenly tripled and the wind forgetting it exists). The only high points in my kite flying venture were the fleeting moments I used to get to hold the control panel (along with the high tech chakri that holds the ubiquitous manja) and getting directions from my bro as to how to maneuver the kite in the sky(the thrill you get when you hold the manja of a high flying kite is indescribable what with the high tension in the thread giving you the feel that you actually are in control of a Sukhoi like fighter aircraft).

So here I am writing about the agony, the childhood trauma (pls dont shrug it off, it's really that way for me!!). But in spite of my limited vicarious memories about the flying experience, I have not given up yet. I would be going for my nth attempt to fly the thing and if I ever succeed, let me declare it in writing that it would be the most ‘flying’ event of my life.
Amen!