A few days back, I had this extremely animated discussion with a couple of my close colleagues (they are a wonderful couple and are a dear family friend of mine). The discussion started casually with me stating that I will have my baby do all those things which I couldn’t do in my life(Just to add some drama to the discussion, I also pointed out the scene from DDLJ where Anupam Kher tells SRK ki ja agar tu apni jawani se uub gaya hai to meri jawani jeekar aa!). Quoting a quote I said ‘Men regret those mistakes which they did not commit when they had the opportunity!’ Dwelling deeper into specifics, I mentioned that I may not have had enjoyed the earlier years of my life as much as I could have had OR rather I should have had. I felt that I took life too seriously (from school time to college life to pre marriage days) and that I missed out on many ‘kool’ things which characterize a typical adolescence/juvenile life. As a counter argument, I was reminded by my friends that I may not have come so far in my life (careerwise so to speak) if I had committed all those mistakes which I regret not committing now. To a great extent I agreed with them and drew a conclusion that may be I was not given a choice in the first place to explore a little wilder side of my life. I mean I don’t really regret for it now in the sense that I am enjoying my life to the fullest now, I have a wonderful life, a beautiful son and a wife(in that order that is !!), I indulge in rash driving occasionally(so what if it’s an 800 cc car, I can still derive the same devil pleasure from it you see!), I have been to some of the best places in the world(courtesy company deputations) and I own some of the mean gadgets which I take pride in. But then, we are missing a point here - I started having all these worldly pleasures(I am not that hedonistic by the way, this is all just for the argument sake!) when I was around 25 or 26. What happened to the golden period of one’s life called adolescence and the start of youth(14 to 24 years), wouldn’t it have been great if I had a few of the above fun during this time frame(substituting wife/kid with a couple of girlfriends if I am allowed to be little naughtier here!!). There is no harm I feel if we accept a few hard facts of life, I just wanted to confront them which I did in the above discussion with my couple friend and thought to share it here in the blog.
A few days later, I came across an interesting thing – an interview with SRK by some news magazine. I have reproduced the relevant part here. It kind of vindicated my stand that I did miss out something in my life.
But hey that’s life. Infact if given an opportunity, I would like to be reborn with exactly same parameters of my life as I have them now - not a single variable varied in anyway!
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SRK....."In some strange way, all that I've done in the last 17-18 years through my work is to speak to the youngsters. I've never spoken to anyone else because I understand their language and emotions. I've been a youngster who's had to grow up too fast because of the (early) death of my parents. I missed out on my youth. At the age of 16, I lost my dad. By 20-21, I had to start getting more responsible than I should have been. By 25, I was completely on my own with a sister to look after. I think I missed on these 10 years where I could have had a chance to be youthfully wild.
I wish I can afford my kids to have a wild youth. When I say wild youth I mean flights of fantasy, have fun. Have no worries. Go wrong because there's a long life in front of you to rectify them. Do things your heart tells you to do, otherwise for the rest of your life you will be doing what your boss tells you to do.
I could never do it. I had to take up a job as an actor and I'm glad I did. I could give a huge speech to youngsters, because I really feel like that. I am re-living my youth now after having achieved a level of comfort where I think I can be on a flight of fantasy.
When I was 34 I said, listen, I am good enough now to go back to being that age between 17 and 27 in my head because I don't have to worry about my future anymore.........."
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3 comments:
Looks like you've been having this discussion with a lot of other people, and I thought it was just a one-off discussion we had ! :)
Maybe it's to do with our upbringing - most of us and our friends belong to middle class families who place a lot of premium on education. Our parents have been a generation which took a lot of hardships building their lives and wanted to make sure that the next gen has a better life and doesn't lose focus.
Other factors could be the neighbourhood, the schools, the exposure in terms of information/media.In fact I was in a school where interaction between guys n gals wasn't encouraged (I've heard things have changed for good now ) and it does have some bearing on one's socializing skills.
Not to say that none of our peers had fun or 'missed out on many ‘kool’ things' as you say. Maybe we were too obedient/ timid / serious by nature/ too focused or bad at multitasking :). I've no major regrets, but yeah who would not have liked to have more fun and made some sweet mistakes! :D
Although not totally related, at times I think this holds true for a lot of us -
जिन्दगी गुज़र गयी जीने की तैयारी में
Its all about how you take your life and see your life. We often see the things which we have not done instead of looking at what we have done. I agree to a certain limit with our custom and our up bringing. In most situation we are in dilemma in deciding whether the thing i am doing is right or wrong. More often than not, because of fear of what people would say we avoid doing or trying out things which we usually regret later.
So life mein simple funda "Never regret for anything. If you like it - Do it"
hmmm...!!! my senior colleagues have already commented correct to maximum extent; but I personally feel we do tread path..most walked upon ..cos may be we are afraid of failures(What if...?)...
I guess it's all as they say 'mind rules over matter'
Sir...but I quote affirmatively:
"When life gives you thousand reasons to cry,
Show it you have million reasons to smile" :0)
Thence...keep walking........
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